So recently, the people at CrossFit have started a new campaign insinuating sugar (and namely, Coca-Cola) kill people and give them diabetes. Their distasteful tweet went out to say...
This is the height of DISGUSTING morals and disrespect for a people with a poorly understood health condition, massive misinformation, and families and relatives who have passed away! As someone who lost her father to type 2 diabetes in 2003, I am deeply offended!
I do not just appeal to you to write CrossFit, as these people are surely not going to give a DAMN about what we have to say -- but hit them in the pockets with a potential lawsuit by writing Coca-Cola. Together, we can fight back. This is my letter. Modify as you need to... You may submit yours at https://secure.coca-colacompany.com/ssldocs/mail/eQuery_product.shtml. (Copy and paste in your browser).
"To Whom It May Concern,
I am an advocate for people with diabetes. It has recently come to my attention, and the attention of many other advocates and persons with diabetes that a certain company calling itself "CrossFit" has appropriated part of Coca-Cola's logo and good name as a means to attack and tarnish the reputations of people with type 2 diabetes, as a part of their scare tactic campaign and dissemination of misinformation.
As advocates, we work endlessly with other agencies such as the American Diabetes Association, JDRF, and the Joslin Diabetes Center to educate persons on the nature of diabetes, its various types, and any means of prevention possible. While we recognize that good nutrition is key to maintaining a healthy weight, we strongly denounce the tactics of this company. Consuming sugar in and of itself does NOT lead to any form of diabetes.
This campaign is deeply offensive to people with diabetes, and our voices are being ignored by this company. We would like to appeal to Coca Cola and their good name, to help us stand against this company -- not only because this is hurtful for people with diabetes, but because it damages the good name and brand of Coca Cola and its affiliates.
At this time, the "Crossfit" company is using parts of the Coca Cola logo, with an attached catchphrase of "open diabetes" which they claim is trademarked.
The information is being spread all over Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook, and may be seen at these links:
When I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, it took me some time to become aware of all the various resources that were out there for me. There were various mainstream informational websites, and a few personal blogs. I didn't even have an inkling that there were exclusive forums for people with diabetes, until I found a reference for one in a blog.
So I joined the forum, excited to meet other people and see what it was all about. It opened my world to a whole new level of knowledge I had not been exposed to through the mainstream informational websites, and it made me consider so many questions related to day to day living with diabetes. At the time, I was struggling with other life challenges, as well: I had been struggling with underemployment, lack of medical coverage, and a lack of food, so the forum provided for me a place to come, get some encouragement, and escape reality for a little while.
While I made many valuable friendships, and met folks who helped me realize that I'm not alone in my path with diabetes, I also met a lot of jaded and hurtful individuals. And I was very much not prepared for that. Sure -- there are always trolls and mean persons on every corner of the internet, but this was different: these were people who exclusively hated me and held me in contempt for having the 'wrong' type of diabetes. And that was something I could not understand.
Now, I am well aware that I may not have the most easy going personality -- but this problem was beyond my having ever joined this forum. A simple search through their archives, and one could find thread upon thread of vitriolic, incredibly detestable hate-filled fests against persons with type 2 diabetes. On top of that, administration seemed to care little about monitoring this type of bullying, and called it "constructive dialogues that needed to be had." It was frankly, quite off-putting. The forum quickly became detrimental to my health, contributing to feelings of shame, self loathing, and depression. I felt myself addicted to it, as someone who's addicted to the person who has become their abuser. I was glad when I was finally banned -- a woman took to insulting me after an innocent reply to a post, and when I replied in self-defense mode, she conveniently deleted hers... It was hurtful, and I felt very much betrayed. I still do. But it was for the best. There were people who only pretended to be my friend, and after I was gone, completely stopped speaking to me. Just like junior high. The whole thing was gross.
It wasn't all a loss, however. Some of the people who I had friended decided to find me and friend me on other social media outlets. They missed my insights and my writing, and encouraged me to blog; they were instrumental in me even starting this blog. Many of them are still my friends till this day. I value those friendships very much, and my life is richer for having them.
But... after leaving that forum, I found that this terrible hatred, and vitriolic scene was not just a problem exclusive to them, but instead it was a part of a greater online diabetes culture. No matter what group, page, or discussion you joined, there would always be discussion about persons with type 2 diabetes being to blame, being fat and gross, having a 'different disease that is not mine and needs to be renamed so we're not associated with them because they gave it to themselves,' not having 'real diabetes,' not being important or deadly, and not to be considered as allies, but as people who have ruined things for 'the rest of us.'
Frankly... I've never been hated so much by someone for just existing. Not even as a Latina woman, in a predominantly Caucasian state; not even as an obese woman by persons without diabetes!
I quickly became very resentful of these people. I sought out many arguments purposefully, and tried to argue it out with as many of these haters as I could. In my mind, I saw them as immoral, awful people, who needed to be put in their place. I saw the culture of rampant discrimination, bullying and persecution, and I just had to get on my little crusade to fix it. I sought to try to force people to see that type 2 diabetes was very much misunderstood, and that they needed to see this for themselves as much as their own type of diabetes was misunderstood. I argued, and I got on my soapbox, and I ran myself ragged.
Some folks were on my side and argued for me, and even wrote extensive blog posts... and some other folks were not. Some other folks were more lukewarm: they could sympathize with me, but they still wanted the 'comfort' of relating to others about how much they resented my own type. I felt like these folks wanted to eliminate us, like a kind of ethnic cleansing: obliterate us from existence, so they could get justice served for their own misfortunes. We are 'the punching bag' for their child, or their spouse, or their whoever having gotten their type of diabetes.
It's become very challenging for me to not reserve a well of pure hatred for many, or most of these people. But slowly, and with time, I've come away to a different place when it comes to the conversation... I can't have anything but sympathy for these folks.
You see, the feelings, hatred and vitriol -- though hurled at me and others living with type 2 diabetes -- have absolutely NOTHING to do with us... and everything to do with those who hurl them. They do not say a thing about us; they simply speak of unmet needs, of emotional trauma, of personal agony and challenge, of isolation and lack of recognition.
None of this has anything to do with me. It has everything to do with:
The stress of living with a deadly chronic condition, and a lack of acknowledgement of this reality by friends, relatives, the media, and the medical community;
The frustration of living in a world rampant with ignorance about diabetes in general, but especially about any other type that isn't type 2;
The lack of psycho-social support and mental health available for people living with diabetes;
The often inevitable feelings of seeing oneself through the lens of a victim's narrative because it's really hard to rationalize to ourselves the WHY we (or our loved one) got such a sucky hand in life (a subject that could well fill another blog post, on its own);
The feelings of a need to 'make things right,' and avenge the lot in life we got (or our loved ones) by attacking others that society has told us 'gave it to themselves,' so that we can feel better that we were 'innocent' (as if those others were guilty, somehow) ;
The desperation of not being able to find healing for ourselves, or for our loved ones... often, the desperation of complications, or a lack of research and a cure;
Simply... the pent up agony and anxiety at not being recognized on almost any outlet, ever... even as rarer conditions get at least some moments in the limelight.
I have distanced myself a lot from many of these conversations, and forums. I went off to make my own diabetes support group where this type of vitriolic atmosphere is simply not tolerated. Where a culture of being one another's advocate is encouraged -- because we're all we've got. Outsiders are seldom interested in any diabetes, of any type. Period. It's up to us to educate ourselves as much as we pretend to educate others.
But just because I've surrounded myself with love, and support -- and rewired the conversation -- doesn't mean that the hate fest doesn't live on outside of my bubble. Oh, it does.
So a couple of nights ago, when I was misguidedly arguing with a friend over an idiotic political meme (as you do) and they lashed out at me, declaring that I was 'a fat fuck, who gave diabetes a bad name,' I didn't even blink. They proceeded to unfriend me, and thus ended a long friendship... But I knew the insult had nothing to do with me. I knew the person had waited long and hard to find an apt moment to hurl the insult at any person with type 2, and therefore, stab life right in the groin. I knew the person had been struggling long and hard with some pretty scary complications from diabetes... and needed something or someone out there, to pay for it; to be their punching bag. I knew they were writing their own victim's narrative.
Had they done all the right things, some might ask? I don't know. Does it matter? Do they 'deserve' their pain, somehow, if they had not? I think we've ALL done all the right things, and all the wrong things at one point, or another. At the end of the day, frankly, diabetes doesn't care whether you 'gave it to yourself,' or not. It has little empathy. In fact, it has none.
I simply don't get angry anymore. Instead, I love these people, and I let go.
Once one understands the mechanics of what's at play, it's easy to let go and forgive. It has nothing to do with me, after all, and it never has. I respect the walk of my fellow friend, though it's not my own. It's not my duty to make these people feel better about their own type of diabetes by letting them belittle me... no.
But I understand, and thus I let go... For in unfortunate choices, or through hatred, and in pain, people are still human. They still deserve some dignity and some humanity. So you let people go, and you hope they find some healing. You hope their lashing out at you helped them, somehow. You hope they find their peace.
You let go of all the folks that do not build you up... so they can find whatever it is might build them up. We're all (though sometimes reluctantly so) in this together... So, off you go.
I've had type 2 diabetes for nearly 4 � years. Though not a very long period of time, it's still been very challenging...
I've lost weight, gained weight, lost weight; I've low carbed, extremely low carbed, and eaten intuitively; I've exercised myself to death, been a couch potato, and a simple walk around the block lover; I've quit soda, drank only water, and then gotten on diet soda, again... I've had highs and lows, and lows, and highs. I've been proud of myself, and disappointed in myself -- and I've learned just how HARD it is to change myself -- all willpower aside. I've even dealt with some very angry type 1 diabetics and some very unhealthy diabetes forums and communities.
All of these challenges aside, none of these compare to the one big challenge I've had to face while living with type 2 diabetes... keeping my dignity as a patient.
And therein lies the rub. We want to find people to punish and blame. We want to skewer people for "giving themselves" type 2 diabetes.
This is not an abnormal thing. It's actually a part of human nature to want to find vindication for issues -- it's a form of 'negative altruism.' The problem is that the social dialogue that has been crafted in the media, and in part thanks to illness advocacy organizations like the ADA, various medical groups, and those who want to exploit the obesity and diabetes medical communities -- has been centered on discussing obesity and diabetes as though they were a crime against society (i.e., obesity and diabetes are going to bankrupt the economy, destroy the healthcare system, our children, bring governments to their knees, destroy third world countries, bring a second coming of Christ, etc.) So, people with either obesity or type 2 diabetes, are not seen as persons struggling to take ownership of their health issues -- but as people failing to take accountability for a crime against society. "Be accountable for your health," they say. Obesity and diabetes are not seen as personal struggles for personal health ownership -- but as a moral failing of the individual, a crime against society, and as a justification for social outcasting.
This is a HUGE undercurrent in the diabetes dialogue at large!
It colors the mindsets of many an educator, clinician, registered dietitian, media or TV personality, people trying to sell us goods and services, and of course... persons presenting new technology at a conference like Medicine X. It's a problem. It's a HUGE problem. And when one addresses such a problem, one is portrayed as though one were trying to pass the buck for being obese, or having diabetes. There's a certain self important arrogance about it all... If I point out your moral failing for having 'given yourself diabetes,' then I must be a more moral, and worthier, contributing citizen to the society at large.
Now, this blog post is not about whether or not one can 'give oneself' diabetes. That would be an entirely new blog post -- and I think I've spoken on that before... My overall view on whether one 'gave oneself' diabetes, however, is that it's IRRELEVANT. Yes, it's irrelevant. Once a person has diabetes, whether or not they 'gave' themselves diabetes is, quite frankly, irrelevant. One can analyze a person's decisions and life style choices till the cows come home... but once that person has AIDS, cancer, diabetes, heart disease, etc... is it now time to start treating them without respect, or dignity? Should we spit on their faces, and socially mock them while at the same time claiming to try to help them? "I'm going to help you, fatty, because you can't help yourself! You have no self control, and you can't stop eating!"
I think many misunderstand my words here, when I speak of patient dignity. Patient dignity is NOT a patient passing the buck; it is not a patient not taking ownership of their health... Dignity simply means treating someone with a certain basic level of respect for being a human being in the midst of a trying, and challenging situation -- whether of their own doing, or not. We are all human; none of us is above the struggle to make the best choices. Though this is another topic worthy of further exploration in a different blog post, the food choices many of us make day in, and day out, cannot be completely and genuinely labeled as 'mistakes,' for they are the product of our programming as children, as members of some particular society, and as mammals evolved (thanks to natural selection) to prefer more nutritionally dense foods, especially in order to better face periods of famine. While many have had the blessings of genetics, and a healthier food environment overall (familially and culturally), it takes enormous effort to change oneself as an individual, because it is not simply a product of will -- it is a product of reprograming, and reprogramming is HARD. You aren't just fighting your family's bad eating choices, you are also fighting millions of years of evolution! So it is thus, unfair to treat these issues as though they were black and white, and as a people's moral failings, or as a crime against society. Also -- the person with type 2 diabetes is NOT accountable for their health to you -- so get over yourself.Type 2 diabetes has many different triggers (not causes), of which obesity is just one of them, and the others are not quite as uncommon as people want to think. The scientific and peer reviewed studies showing this are there -- but they seldom get public light, because they are NOT media-attention worthy. Sensationalism is simply what sells.
All of these things aside -- the overall goal of ANY health initiative by any group is to make positive change. But if we want to help a patient community to make positive changes toward a general health improvement, what we want to do is focus on that 'positive' word. Putting the word "skinny" in front of your company's marketing, cracking jokes about a community's obesity or bad eating habits, how they gave themselves diabetes, stereotyping, claiming diabetes can be cured (or blaming people for not curing themselves), turning them into a 'meme' or down talking to them is NOT going to make positive change. Instead, all it will create is an underculture of social pariahs who are not just denied services and tools, but who do not seek the necessary medical attention they need, the tools and education they deserve, or the new lease on life that they could have. In other words, the culture we have NOW.
If you make it too embarrassing and shameful to have diabetes -- people aren't going to work toward not getting diabetes... People are still going to get diabetes, and they are going to die in silence, from diabetes.
In the end, the person who'll end up costing more to a society is not the person with diabetes: it is the diabetes bully.
The things you say, and do, have an effect on people. This one should be a "no brainer," right?
Well, not quite.
At least... not quite for folks who see you as "something to crusade against." A faceless mass, or a faceless evil, or villain, that it's okay to heckle, taunt, or verbally assault for the "benefit of humanity, at large," whatever that might be. And that, I'm afraid, is what the internet has done to Type 2 Diabetes and obesity. Coupled with anonymity, the internet has sort of given a voice to the uneducated, the predators and snake oil pushing charlatans, the frustrated, and yes, even the downright abusive bullies among us.
Quite honestly, it is NOT easy for me to be active online when people left and right are trying to sell me books, supplements, Chinese herbs, or whatever the latest craze is to "100% cure" my Diabetes. (Diabetes, of course, has no cure... and in my opinion, this is dangerous and should be against the law. But alas, the FDA doesn't give a rat's ass.) But it's even more difficult when you THINK you have found a "haven" from the mean-spiritedness of the world in a Diabetes page, group, forum, or social community.
As a newly diagnosed person... you may think others are kindred spirits. I am sorry to say, many times they are not... and we need to learn to be emotionally mature, and confident within ourselves, to be able to handle these situations (which, of course, we are not, when we are newly diagnosed.)
Just yesterday, a well known diabetes site asked the question "Medicare announces that it will cover weight-loss counseling for the obese, but critics argue it will make little difference. Who's right?"
I'd love to say polite debate ensued... But it was mostly a "blame the fat, lazy person" tirade.
"Do we really think "counseling" will help the obese? Really? If you're obese, it's due to a lack of discpline and complete laziness. NO EXCEPTIONS TO THIS RULE!!!"
"I don't believe any type of counseling will work for people over weight. You either truly want to loose weight or you don't, and if banding your stomach doesn't work then counseling isn't either."
"Can you honestly tell me that people don't know eating McDonald's every day isn't a good idea?!"
" Weight loss is really self control & few people really have it..."
People are raging at many things; things they don't understand, or think they understand. It really reminds me of the Cold War, and the "Red Scare." We just have these simplistic "notions" of what's the enemy, and what's "right," and what the tv tells us is wrong, and bad... and we run with them. We think, "it's okay, these are 'faceless people' on the internet... We can hate them. We can abuse them." It's easy. Doing these things doesn't entail you to actually WORK at being a HUMAN BEING; to actually be an ADULT, and use your empathy skills.
Doing these things keeps you from seeing people as mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, spouses, other people's loved ones, other people's children.
And worse yet, we may think "these people have taken from me, and my loved one...," and we fail to see how the system has failed EVERYONE, and not just us. Instead, what we are doing is PROJECTING our own bitterness at others. We have developed Diabetic Penis Envy.
I am sorry.
I have to call it something funny. I have to call it something funny, or else I'll cry.
I'll cry when I see fellow diabetics verbally assaulting other diabetics because they are HUMAN and STRUGGLING, and they are brave enough to share their broken pieces with the world. I'll cry when I see mothers attacking other mothers over how they care for their child... I'll cry when I see someone putting down another person's personal loss "because they had it coming to them... they were Type 2."
I'll cry over your bitterness. I'll cry because I know this disease has blinded you. It has blinded your heart. You either found a little private island in the middle of the sea, and wonder why no one else has gotten there, OR you are exiled in the desert, with nothing but mirages in sight, and no respite. You either judge for attention, or want to be the victim, for attention.
My heart goes out to you because I know it's not about me. No matter how much you try to make it be about me, or about any other type of diabetic there is... it's not. It's not a war of types. It's about YOU. It's a war WITH YOU. And it shows when you write jokes putting down folks, when you character assassinate people who may be struggling with their control, or their weight, or their kids, or when you try to make it sound like your type or your way is the paradigm of good health. It's not. We all need to work on something.
If we want to help unity in our community... if we want to help diabetics out of the hole of shame and fear they may have... And help them know it's OKAY to be them... then we need to help GUIDE and SHEPHERD them... I would like to ASK two things:
I would like for communities to develop a ZERO tolerance toward judgmentalism, abuse, abusive language, and bullying of anyone, but especially obese persons and persons with Type 2 Diabetes, including warning folks, removing their comments, posting discussions redirecting attitudes and educating, and up to, and including banning; AND
I'd like especially abusive folks to be directed to counseling. We NEED to be reminded that we need help. If it's 2011, and we are adults, and we are still bullying other adults, especially ones with a chronic illness, we OWE it to that person to let them know they NEED COUNSELING. And their bullying behaviors will NOT be tolerated. It is, quite frankly, DISGUSTING.
The First Amendment is for the GOVERNMENT to not invade our freedom of speech; it is not for a community to allow people to bully other people. EVER. Directly or indirectly. Until this is fixed, you will see many people join... and then fall off, and not participate. It gets old.
Don't just call for change in our communities... Help ENFORCE the change; BE the change.
And yes, friend... if you read this... and you find yourself a little bit bitter... It's okay. I'm often, a little bit bitter too.
I add this sort of cruel, and yet "funny," video... as an apt comparison in 'reactions' to my "gift" of Diabetes.
